rain, rain... go away...

Its days like these that make getting out of bed harder each morning.. because all i want to do is lay in my bed all day long and listen to the rain hit my windows... but no once that alarm goes off screaming wake up you have class... that minute of peace is gone.

My boyfriend and i broke up about 1 week ago.. and yet i still have dreams of him... last night was a tad disturbing considering the other person in the dream, whom remains nameless because they are really that important to me. ha.

I guess i just feel kind of lost right now....its not like i need someone around to make me happy or cheer me up or to snuggle with but its nice....am i right?? i just feel like you put so much into a relationship your energy, your soul, your ALL.. and in return you get your heart broken... it doesnt seem like much fun.. theres that saying "love like you've never been hurt" its hard too once after you'd been thru so much with someone and been hurt so badly...yet you still want them back.. you want the idea of them.. the feeling of security etc.... the love, the passion, the maddness... im just distraught today....

something i wrote last year....around the time my boyfriend and i broke up for the first time....

"With a broken and confused heart, i cry tears made from you... wondering why it has come to this, wanting all the answers to your lies. Yes shes beautiful but what she do different to reel you back and out of our "love". I thought what we had was real and all this had happened for a reason. We stumbled upon one another to save each other..or to fall? My green eyes are reddened by your lies and absense in my life. The love we once knew is now just meer lust and left a memory. To me you were a dream come true, the potential one.. you proved me all wrong and proved everyone else right. Distance is supposed to make the heart grow fonder baby well in our case thats false."...

Thats just some of it.... its a lot of random thoughts and emotions.. kind of similar to the way i feel now.. but i dont know....Are there any nice guys in the world?!

Hi... to whom ever is reading this...

This is my first blog but i felt this was a neat way to express my feelings and just write out and tell "the world" about my day... I do write poetry/ lyric like things so ill probably add those.. maybe someday someone important will read them and hire me to write for them... i guess anything can happen right? :) i can dream....

The events in my daily life are just as any of college student.. yet has anyone ever felt like in one day you have comsumed so many emotions and dealt with so much that your body is physically deprieved of sleep and is just plain exhausted....thats sort of what im dealing with...i tend to have very random thoughts so dont be surprised if i write more than once on a certain day.... just means i had a lot on my mind... ps.. im a TERRIBLE speller so bare with me :).

i wrote this a while ago... alot of the stuff at first will be previous things that i have written...

"As something of a symbol of innocence you grace me with your presence. A night full of mature and adult like conversations, I drift into a bliss of satisfation. Sisters by the flesh of a man i love. I tend to your obsession of fitting in, yet your beauty blinds them all. The day you awake adn realize that all you have is everything all your friends have ever wanted will be the day granted to you as perfect."